trust and things

here is a new post...a very brief one

but as i was leaving counseling wednesday two things really stuck out

1. maybe i have a hard timing trusting (certain) people (and maybe God) because I really don't think they would understand. i don't see how they could possibly understanding how deeply i am feeling something and so i feel like it would be impossible for us to relate and so i just don't say anything because i honestly don't think they would get it - i mean - that not they wouldn't get it, but they wouldn't understand how deeply something has impacted me and they might consider me to be an over-reactor or something and so i bottle it in *****this is not to say that they don't understand or couldn't understand, and who knows maybe they really couldn't...but i do think this is an underestimation of people on my part****

2. my counselor said sometimes when we have been feeling down/sad/grieving for a while we don't feel good about ourselves and that can sometimes lead us to have a more negative perception about ourselves and we lose confidence in ourselves because we haven't been feeling good on the inside...which seems to explain freshman/sophmore years of college and why i isolated myself so much then...i just have to make sure i don't fall into that same pattern again

that's it for now