control

On the Safest Ledge by Copeland

Don't look ahead, just run to me
Each step will find the next one recklessly
We'll find ourselves on the safest ledge
Well pardon me, I couldn't help myself
Girl, fall into your life here
If only for a while, I'm here

Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine, it's fine

You felt alone before you ever really knew how alone you were
An empty house, a lonely room
The TV talks the fear right out of you
But you feel like someone's standing by but you'll never know

Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine

The sun burns a hole straight through your old flaws
If you look toward the sky even on your greyest night

Could you be happy now, with the wind in your hair
And your eyes open wide and your feet going nowhere?
Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine

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It's so hard to trust God and give up control and let yourself fall like a stone and be content in the freedom of not knowing!!!

First Blog

So I've copied and pasted this from my facebook note. I hope that's okay. I've decided to start a new blog because I feel like it's a new season in my life but I'll post the links to my other two blogs (one's dedicated to my artwork and the other one is old)

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(I'm not one to write notes but my motivation behind writing will be more clear after you read it...) I was talking with my friend tonight and we were talking about how decisions can be so hard to make and so easy to scrutinize and how we need other people...she basically summarized everything i've been thinking about these past few months regarding openness, community, fear, overthinking, trust...all that stuff...and she asked a really good question that says it all to me right now: which is worse, rejection or regret? is it better to be open and possibly get hurt, or to clam up and protect yourself, but live with regret?

To summarize what i think is going to be my first written post in the blog, lately i have been learning how crucial it is to be open and honest with people. i feel like i have spent my whole life clammed up and shy and honestly it sucks. It's true that I didn't say many things that I might regret saying, but at the same time I have regretted keeping quiet, if that makes sense.

I guess it's all about trust too, trusting that people will give you grace when you are open and put yourself out there, that they won't misinterpret or judge you but seek to be understanding. and i think it goes the other way around too, that i have to be understanding of people and accept them when they are open with me.

i guess i'm just tired of being silent when inside i'm burning up...haha...wow that sounds so angsty but at any rate i have learned that people are wonderful and life is so much better when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open about your life. i just hope i can find a healthy balance being open but also being wise.

My friend and i both agreed that we are going to start a blog so we can share these thoughts with other people. i'm not sure if i am going start using my xanga again because frankly its a little embarassing haha but i do have my blogspot for my art...we'll see...i'll add the url when i decide.

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