First Blog

So I've copied and pasted this from my facebook note. I hope that's okay. I've decided to start a new blog because I feel like it's a new season in my life but I'll post the links to my other two blogs (one's dedicated to my artwork and the other one is old)

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(I'm not one to write notes but my motivation behind writing will be more clear after you read it...) I was talking with my friend tonight and we were talking about how decisions can be so hard to make and so easy to scrutinize and how we need other people...she basically summarized everything i've been thinking about these past few months regarding openness, community, fear, overthinking, trust...all that stuff...and she asked a really good question that says it all to me right now: which is worse, rejection or regret? is it better to be open and possibly get hurt, or to clam up and protect yourself, but live with regret?

To summarize what i think is going to be my first written post in the blog, lately i have been learning how crucial it is to be open and honest with people. i feel like i have spent my whole life clammed up and shy and honestly it sucks. It's true that I didn't say many things that I might regret saying, but at the same time I have regretted keeping quiet, if that makes sense.

I guess it's all about trust too, trusting that people will give you grace when you are open and put yourself out there, that they won't misinterpret or judge you but seek to be understanding. and i think it goes the other way around too, that i have to be understanding of people and accept them when they are open with me.

i guess i'm just tired of being silent when inside i'm burning up...haha...wow that sounds so angsty but at any rate i have learned that people are wonderful and life is so much better when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open about your life. i just hope i can find a healthy balance being open but also being wise.

My friend and i both agreed that we are going to start a blog so we can share these thoughts with other people. i'm not sure if i am going start using my xanga again because frankly its a little embarassing haha but i do have my blogspot for my art...we'll see...i'll add the url when i decide.

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